This ought to make you smile ...

as it sure did us!!!  I just love big wide-mouthed baby smiles.  You can't help but smile back at them!  Roger caught this smile in his first attempt at a picture.  Didn't he do a great job?!



As a note of encouragment, a friend from the FIAR boards wrote to tell me that in her experience early smiles were a positive indicator of good things to come developmentally!  We hope so.  For now, we are just enjoying seeing happiness and delight in our little girls eyes and her beautiful smile!



Enjoy!

7 Ounces!!!

Yippee!!!!  (I need some more icons here!  Where is the one doing the happy dance?!!)   Eliana had her ped appointment today and she has gained 7 ounces in the last 5 days!!!  That is her biggest gain yet!    Our ped is thrilled - and so are we!  Eliana currently weighs 9 pounds and 1 ounce.  (Still smaller than her next oldest sibling at birth.) 

Our ped was also very happy with how her heart sounds, her movement (much more active now), her oral motor skills (she is trying to suck her thumb/hand and is pretty persistant) and even her body/head control.  It was really a good visit. 

She even commented that based on how Eliana is looking now we might be able to wait until April to have surgery.  I really want to get us out of this "yuck" season.  So many of our friends have been hit with this too - it's just everywhere!  Makes you want to stay inside and at home for sure!  

Our next dr appt is on Monday with the cardiologist.  How nice it is to only have 1 dr appt this week.  (What a comment from someone that is used to going many many months between appts for our children!)

That's all for now.  Don't know that I have time to get into the many other things on my heart - like nursing/pumping and how much to keep trying as well as schooling my children and working to creatively do this while we are dealing with such huge life issues with Eliana.  We continue to appreciate the support and encouragment from so many people.  I'm waaaaay behind on answering emails - but please know that I appreciate them so very much! 

With love and a happy heart,
Leslie

Good health

is such a blessing!!!  It takes having it removed sometimes to really appreciate the joy of feeling well.  Having experienced a difficult last year with my health (Hyperemesis Gravidarum) during pregnancy, I have so appreciated days when I felt well and was able to eat. 





I am thankful to report that all of my family is feeling well!    I am so thankful that Eliana has remained well!  Isaiah, our 5yo, also managed to escape this illness.  He was very lonely being the only well one and was so glad when he was able to be with everyone else.





We have a ped appointment today for another weight check.  We have been adding the additional powdered formula to boost the calorie content of her feeds.  Hopefully this has helped.  I can't really tell.  She seems content most of the time - and sleeps most of the rest of it.





Praising God for good health today.  I hope you are experiencing this blessing as well!



With love,

Leslie

Picture of the children

I so wanted a picture of all of the children at Christmas.  I had thought it would be a neat thing to share with others as well as to have for my scrapbook.  Well, with all of the illness that hit our house after Eliana came home, we found it was mid-January before we could get our Christmas picture!  This one is the best of the bunch.

Better and worse

Well, it's a new day.  I'm feeling much better emotionally than I was yesterday.  It's hard to feel so low, so sad and scared and frustrated.  I'm sure I'll have those times again and am thankful for the friends that are walking beside me during these struggles. 



I've been reminded of many verses in the Bible in which God is here with me - through it all - no matter how I'm feeling.  One of my favorites is from the book of Isaiah when God says that He will be with me when I walk through the fire and when I am in a storm.  It isn't if, but when.  I've been blessed not to have many huge trials yet in my life.  I'm in the middle of a big one right now though.  I'm hoping and praying to emerge better on the other side of it - and eagerly looking forward to reaching the other side.  It isn't in sight yet though.



On the physical side - I'm sick too.     My 2yo got sick in the middle of the night and didn't even wake up!  Poor little fellow.  I got sick a few hours later.  *sigh*  I was really hoping to be spared this sickness.  I was very thankful that I missed the sickness that wiped out my entire family (except for Eliana) just after she was born.  I'm not surprised though as my body is so wiped out I'm not sure how it could fight off much.



Please continue to pray for Eliana.  I'm worried about her getting it as it would be so hard on her body.  I think it would be difficult for a healthy newborn - much less one with a heart like hers.  Our 5yo is also still well and I'm hoping he'll miss it too.  About all we can do at this point is "wash our hands" like crazy and limit Eliana's exposure.  My ped also encouraged me to give her as much breastmilk as possible to help protect her.  I'm pumping now and hoping to be able to help my sweet little girl in this way.



We are thinking that we probably have a virus that seems to be sweeping through our city.  It's a relatively mild virus, but the downsides are that it is very contagious and that you remain contagious for up to 72 hours afterwards instead of the normal 24 hours.  That just makes keeping everything clean, kids away from their baby sister and trying to get well all the harder.  We've taken so many precautions to stay well.  The children and I typically go nowhere during the week!  We've cut out much of our activities and the dr appts we've added in are usually only Eliana and I.  Guess we can only do our best and it still is out of our control.



That's all for now.  We appreciate your prayers as always.

Battered and broken

I'm feeling so overwhelmed and broken right now.  Please pray.  We have 4 family members sick with some sort of stomach virus.  I'm hoping and praying that the rest of us don't come down with it.  (The 3 youngest children and I are currently well.)  I'm thankful for friends  - one who brought some food for us and many others that are praying.  My precious best friend has been over here helping me some today - please pray that she stays well too!

I'm still trying to pump and nurse Eliana.  Today has been very difficult though.  I don't want this to be what ends our trying to nurse. 

I'm also trying to deal with other news which is breaking my heart.  It's not mine to share yet.  

ETA:  Wanted to share a sweet moment today. I was holding Eliana and asked her "Do you love Mommy?"  She responded with the biggest smile I've seen to date!  It was just the right answer when I wasn' expecting one at all.



I know God is with me, but I'm feeling incredibly beat up right now.  I've more than passed my limit.  I have been sobbing all day long and am just worn out - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Picture of Eliana at the hospital

She has her feeding tube in - but is still a cutie! 

Yes, her hair does stick straight up like that!  We've tried combing it in a variety of ways after she is bathed, but when it dries, it sticks straight up.  My oldest son loves her hair.  Actually we get comments on her great hair wherever we go.  After having had 5 "bald" babies, seeing all of this hair was quite a surprise.  She definitely has personality! 

Visit to ped today

Nothing too exciting.  We visited our ped today for a weight check.  I was disappointed that she had gained NO weight.  My ped said not to worry about it as she thought Eliana is looking good - face filling out some.  We talked about what we'd been doing and figured that the lack of weight is probably due to me not upping the calorie content of her feedings.  I had stopped doing this on Monday as we were having troubles with the feeding pump getting clogged.  We switched to liquid formula/breastmilk instead of the powdered formula to see how it would work.

I wouldn't have thought this made a huge difference in the total amount of calories - but evidently it does.  So, we are back to upping the calorie content to liquid feedings.  (Not using the powdered for now.)  The cost of the liquid formula is really high!  I told my dh that this would really make us appreciate having breastfed the others!  We've saved a lot of money over the years. 

Otherwise, Eliana is healthy and doing well.  We'll go back to the ped next Tues and then are scheduled to see the cardiologist the following week. 

Please continue to pray for all of us.

With love,

Leslie

Happy Valentines Day

What a day this has been - with surprises for all of us - some sweet and others less sweet. 

I started my day by sleeping in!  My sweet daughter woke me for Eliana's 9am feeding.  Up again at 10am for the end of the feeding.  Up again at 11am as Eliana was fussing and I put her in bed with me.  We then got up for good at noon for another feeding.  It was so nice to be able to sleep!!!  My sweet daughter helped with the younger boys so I could rest.  What a sweetheart she is!

All of this meant that I did NOTHING special with my children for Valentine's Day.    I hurried to get the boys dressed and ready to go out to music class at 12:30.  My dh was taking them which left a quiet house for me with only my oldest and youngest here.  My dh called about an hour later to let me know that one of the boys had gotten sick in the van -just a little bit, but enough to cause them to come home.  :-(  We have been nowhere this week!  I'm not sure where we could have found any sickness.  After talking more, we think it wasn't sickness, but food going down the wrong way.  He wanted to eat again quickly after getting sick - and hasn't been sick since.

Well, the afternoon was spent with the sick one being sequestered, two playing outside, one playing and one napping.  Still nothing to celebrate the day.  Though my oldest daughter has been making Valentines and even helped the boys to make them too.

My dh went by the store to pick up some food for dinner and worked with the children to make our  traditional heart shaped pizza - with I Love you in pepperonis.  We also had a ceasar salad and rice krispy treats cut into hearts.  My daughter decorated the table beautifully - pink placemats and napkins  (folded very  fancy) and candy hearts on the table around the vase of roses.  We had a fun meal  with lots of laughter inspired by the telephone game. 

Afterwards I sent the children on a scavenger hunt.  I had made up 11 clues.  Two for each of them to figure out and a final one to do together.  Each clue had a small bit of candy to eat as they searched.  It was fun to watch them run and then think.  The final clue was new books for each of them.  Most of them were thrilled.  The 5yo said "I don't want books!".  I think he had dreams of a big stash of candy!  We looked through the books together though until he realized that they  were ones he would really enjoy.

My oldest two sons had also made up scavenger hunts too.  The hunt by the oldest was hard - and the "prize" at the end a little questionable.  *grin*  It was him - hiding in a closet!  

So while the day started off a little less than exciting - it ended with a lot of fun.  It was especially sweet when at dinner my 5yo commented that "This is the best Valentine's Day ever!". 

Thank you for redeeming this day God and for the fun memories we were able to make. 

Blessings,
Leslie

Well ... I did it again!

The opportunity came today - for something I was hoping to avoid.  I was told that I couldn't avoid it, but I was still hoping none the less.  When I went to feed Eliana at 3pm, I noticed that she was holding the tube - all of it!  She has grabbed it before, but never really done much tugging on it.  My oldest son had just put her down in the crib a few moments earlier.  I'm not sure how it  happened so quickly!   I called him in and we both just looked her.  She was blissfully unaware of all of the thoughts swirling in my head and of what lay ahead for both of us. 

I knew then I was going to need to reinsert her tube and just started praying ... and praying... and praying.  I called my friend next door to come help - no answer.  I then went and posted a quick prayer request on the FIAR boards.  As I was headed back upstairs to get things ready, my son told me that my friend was just getting home.  I called again and she thankfully was able to come over and help.  Another friend arrived before I put the tube in and was there to help encourage and hold Eliana's little hand.

This really is a two person job - at least for the novice!!!  Eliana sucked on her pacifier while I put in the tube.  My friends helped hold her hand and her hand when it was loose again.  She didn't cry and was so good about it.  It went in pretty easily - though seemed a little "stuck" at the end.  I checked placement - and it was in correctly!!!  It was done!!! 

I'm so thankful for this answer to quick prayers -for friends to help, for guidance of my hands and for peace for both Eliana and I during this procedure.  Thank you God.

Now ... I'm still hoping I won't have to do it again, but I'm sure it will be easier the next time around.

As always - thanks for your prayers!

With love,
Leslie