My mind is just flooded with thoughts of diabetes these days. So many new things to learn and remember and do. We are working hard to do the best we can for Joshua. He is doing an amazing job. He likes getting things ready for his finger pokes - and he does it all beautifully. I know that one day he'll be ready to do his own poke and we're waiting. He can do it when he is ready.
We had nothing scheduled today, so it was a lazy day at home. Joshua ended up sick again this morning. Stomach hurting. Thankfully it didn't last too long. It happened after breakfast. This has happened on Fri, Sun and Tue mornings. Friday was the worst by far. I called his dr to talk and she wasn't sure what was going on with him. I'm going to try cutting back on dairy and also some of his carbs to see if that helps.
His doctor (from the hospital) also said that she had read his lab results. One of his antibodies was high which confirmed that the diabetes was caused by an autoimmune attack of the pancreas. Nothing caused this to happen. It was not "laying dormant" or waiting to happen. It was just something that went wrong. It was most likely a virus that his body responded to and the antibodies just got confused and attacked his pancreas. It is not something that could have been tested for or prevented. It just happened.
He was also screened for celiac disease which came back normal! Praise God!!! Always thankful for the good news!
I also talked with Joshua's case manager from the insurance company. We've been playing phone tag and finally caught up. She was so very nice! And knowledgable too! She asked a lot of questions and also shared information. She shared resources and tips - and then very kindly sent all that we had talked about to me in an email. Isn't that great?! I wish all of our dealings with insurance could be with someone like her. She has told me that she will be following up with me to see how things are going. That is really nice. She gave me information that I needed and hadn't thought to look up yet.
So, even though nothing much was going on, I just felt overwhelmed with it all today. I'm not sure why. Today wasn't much different than yesterday. I wonder though if it's just because I haven't really had time to cry. I held it all in at the doctor's office and hospital not wanting to upset Joshua. It is a lot though and can feel heavy. When you read things - and I do have to read things - sometimes it is just that one sentence that hits so very hard. Like the organs that are put at risk due to diabetes. Mostly, I just try not to think about those things.
After feeling my spirits sink, I knew I needed time to rest and refresh. I went to my room and just layed on the bed. I thought I'd take a nap, but ended up just talking to God. I know He is holding me ... all of us ... as we walk through this and I'm thankful for that.
I went back and read again in Joshua. I was reminded to be strong and courageous. Sometimes though, it is just hard to be strong. I feel weary. I know that my strength is from God and I need to remember that. In chapter 1 verse 8, I was reminded to meditate on God's word day and night. One more reminder of the importance of hiding God's word in my heart (and helping my children to do the same).
This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; (B)for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have success. Joshua 1:8
Not too long ago, I was reflecting on the difficult times after Eliana was born. It was a time that I clung to God though and learned so much. Why does it take difficulty sometimes to turn our focus where it needs to be? I think that God gives us grace, peace and wisdom when we need it and for the situation that we are in. He doesn't give us the strength to handle something that He has given to someone us. So, in the midst of this trial, I praise you God because you are good.
It's late and I need to go to sleep. Tomorrow (Wed), Joshua has an appointment with an endocrinologist to follow up. I've been told to expect it to be a long one. It will be our first outing - taking along meds, supplies for pokes and shots, glucogan (for an emergency), snacks, juice boxes (for lows), log book, ... hmmm, am I forgetting anything? Seems like a lot. Thankfully if I forget something, we'll be at a hospital. So for this outing, no worries.
I'll update more tomorrow. Sometime too, I'll share about our week at the beach, our "pirate/ocean fun boxes that we started last Monday - the morning before we headed to the hospital and our late Father's Day (tonight).
Thank you for your prayers for our family. We are grateful that we are being lifted up.
Blessings
Leslie
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