I have so many thoughts and emotions awash in my mind. I tried to start writing it out, but haven't yet finished. So much going on in my mind and heart. So many people I want to hug and thank. So little time in my days.
I have been copying the prayer requests I've posted for Eliana over the last month and a half on the FIAR board (homeschool community I'm a part of). I have once again been awash with the love that has been poured out on our family. Once again I sit here crying. So very thankful for a God that loves me (all of us!), so thankful to be a part of this body, so thankful for the answers to prayers and even thankful that I'm learning patience for the prayer requests that haven't been answered in the ways that I have hoped.
I'm thankful that I'm learning in a new way that God is good. It's easy to feel that way when life is good - things are going your way - and you can see purpose in what is happening. It's been quite another to know that He is unchanging when you feel scared, overwhelmed, alone and honestly, angry for the answers that aren't what you wanted, asked or prayed for.
I have so much I want to share and will try to post more tomorrow, but did want to update on today. Thank you to all that shared your stories and experiences with me. It does help to hear them.
We met with the ENT today. He confirmed that her eardrum isn't moving in the left ear. Tried again to do the "pressure" hearing test and did not get good results. She was asleep when they started which I thought might help - but woke up quickly and cried through the entire thing! He feels that it is "most likely" fluid, though he isn't certain. What he wants to do is wait another 3 months to see if it has resolved on it's own. If not, she will most likely be a candidate for surgery to have tubes placed in her ears. She would have a hearing test done then while she is sedated.
So, the things I wanted prayer for weren't really answered - or not in the clear manner that i desired. I wanted to know what was going on, I wanted a clear diagnosis and I wanted there to be nothing wrong with Eliana's hearing. Now, the last thing I listed was for patience for me as we wait for answers. I do feel a peace about this. Do I wish we "knew" what was going on? Yes! Do I wish that she had gotten a good read on her test? Yes! (Esp when he removed some wax from her ear - I had hoped that might be the problem.) Do I trust that things will work out? Again, yes.
The ENT also encouraged me that it was great that one ear is testing just fine and that this is what she needs for development at this age. In another couple of months, she will need to have correction if there are still problems. Oh, and when he looked in her ear he mentioned that her passage wasn't so small. Then said, "That's a good thing!" :)Yes, thank you God for this gift to our sweet girl!
We are scheduled to see him again at the end of July. I'll definitely update as we get close to that date.
I also stopped by my OB office today as it was close to the ENT (and on the other side of town from where I live). I know a lot of the people there since I'm in so very often with my pregnancies (typically at least once per week - sometimes more - for the entire pregnancy). I love the people there! They have taken great care of me and I always miss going in after I've had my babies. Anyway, it was such fun to stop in and see some of the sweet people there! One of the gals told me that she had been praying for us all of these months. :hcry: What sweet encouragment. Oh God, thank you for knitting so many precious people together to pray for our Eliana!
It's very late and I should close. Will try to write more tomorrow. Wanted to update you sweet friends
Humility as Dispositional Prayer
22 hours ago