Sunday, July 25, 2010

A New Adventure

We just dropped off Christopher at the airport.  After a late night of packing and an early rising time, we've seen him off.  He is attending the Summit Worldview Conference  in Colorado.  He'll be there for two weeks.  I know he is excited and I'm excited for him!

Would you join me in praying for him?  Praying for his safety while he travels.  It has been many years since he has flown and never alone.  Praying for his safety while he is there.  He is still recovering from his marathon and I want him to be able to really enjoy all of the physical and outdoor activities while he is there and also to make good choices.  Praying for his roomate - that they would get along well and enjoy each other and be an encouragement to each other.  Praying for the relationships that he makes there - that they would be edifying.  Praying that he would learn a lot - in his head and also his heart.  Praying that this time would strengthen his faith and challenge him in his walk with God in really good ways.

You know, I was really fine with this as we were taking him to the airport.  I do have a peace about him going.  Still, I feel a tear slipping down my face.  I was pondering earlier this morning about how I used to be a person that didn't often cry and was able to really hold it together.  I think Christopher is a lot like me in that regard.  Then Eliana came.  Her heart had two big holes in it that needed repair.  I didn't realize that having her would also cause my heart to broken in ways that it needed to be broken so that God could do a repair on me as well.  The repair was His work, but didn't leave me the same.  My heart is more tender now and often feels raw still.  I can see good in this as it does help me to be more understanding at times (and sometimes I still really need more work in this area!).  He has replaced some of my heart's desires with His (and again there is more work that can be done there too).  I also feel more exposed, more fragile in some ways and definitely more prone to tears.  Its not something I'm entirely comfortable with, but I think it just is who I am now.  I'm trying to stay yielded to Him so that He can be the one working on my heart. 

So, back to Christopher.  He is flying now.  His plane just took off a short while ago. 

Father, thank you for being with my son.  I thank you that you love him more than I can even imagine.  Please protect him from all harm and use this time for your good and your glory.  Thank you for blessing me with this amazing young man.  I'm so very glad to be his mom!  Amen.

Christopher - if you read this, know that I love you and am proud of you.  It seems like yesterday that you were a tiny baby in my arms.  All was right with the world.  Then I turned around and you became a man right before my eyes.  I know you are ready to explore and take on the world.  Know that I'm praying for you always and love you so very much.  I'm proud of you and the man you are becoming.  I miss you already and look forward to hearing about all that you are learning and doing and experiencing there.  I love you!  Mom

Thank you friends for praying with me.  I know he is big and to some may seem so very old.  He is and always will be my "little boy" though.  My heart became intertwined in his 18 years ago when I learned I was going to be a mom.  Nobody told me that watching your child walk off into the world would be so hard.  This is just a glimpse as I know he is coming home in two weeks.  I know that in the future, those tears will slip much quicker.