Short Update

We have had no sickness for two days!!!  Praise God!  Hoping this is the end of it.  More than 2 weeks has been more than enough!

This is going to be short as Joshua and I are headed to Diabetes Clinic today for several hours.  I'll update more on this later.

Last night was another hard night for Joshua.  It's so hard to see your little boys body just racked with sobs.  No words necessary.  I knew.  I just held him and prayed.  I praised God knowing that focusing our minds on praise is a good thing.  Then I just prayed God's truth over him.  He is loved so very much.  God is carrying him and will continue to do so.  We prayed for a long time.

Afterwards we talked.  And laughed.  Not about what was troubling him, but just stuff.  It is still a lot for a little boy. 

"Will I ever be able to eat what I want and when I want it?"

Yes, but we'll need to figure out how this works for your body.  Still a lot to learn.  I'm hopeful that today will help a lot with questions we have and information we need. 

Thank you for praying for our family.

Love

Leslie

Health - what a blessing!!!

Praising God that we all seem to be well!!!  We are now more than 24 hours with no sickness.  Whew!  That is a sweet thing to write.  After more than 2 weeks of, well, yucky sickness, we appear to be healthy!

Thank you friends for your prayers and encouragment.  Thank you for your sweet comments and your help for my family. 

I'll try to write more later.  Today, I want to have fun with my kids and maybe even do a little school planning or scrapbooking.  :-)  We'll see.

Hope you have a great Saturday!

****UPDATE**** I guess I spoke too soon.  Joshua is sick again.  (Not throwing up)  Wondering if some of this is related to his diabetes?  Diet?  Still the virus/sickness?  *sigh*

We had planned an outing today to go see a movie.  Joshua was very excited about going.  He and a brother or two were going to see a movie they had picked out.  We felt the timing was good and safe.  Just as we were talking about details, he got sick again.  He wondered if he could still go.  He was so dejected when I said no.  This has just been a hard couple of weeks for him.  Going to try to find something fun for him.  Thanks for praying!

Love
Leslie

Photo Tag

This was something I wrote a while back and just never got around to posting.  Not sure why.  Things have been crazy and I thought a little something light would be nice.  Also, this picture is of Daniel, who is still sick.  It's been 4 consecutive days of stomach/GI issues - and this is his second round of it.  Would you pray for healing for our family?  I'm really ready for this to be gone! 

I first saw this photo tag on my friend Heather's blog .  I thought it would be a fun thing to do.

If you want to do it this is what you should do:

1. Go to Your Pictures on your computer
2. Go to the 8th folder
3. Go to the 8th picture
4. Post that picture on your blog and the story behind it

Have fun!!!





 The 8th folder for me was just in December and this is a photo I've already shared, but here goes.  This is Daniel with his ornament.  We give the children an ornament each Christmas - my mom did this for us and I love the tradition.  I try to choose something that either reminds me of the child, their character or something that they have enjoyed or experienced that year.

Daniel's ornament is a little drummer boy - made of candy.  Daniel loves candy!  It reminds me of his sweetness.  This little drummer plays music and beats his sticks in time to the rhythm.  He loves this and played with it over and over again. 

Can't you just see the delight in his cute little face?  I love this picture of him.

If you decide to post a pic to do this tag- I'd love to hear about it.

Blessings,

 Leslie

Inadequate

Do you ever just feel so inadequate for the job you are called to do?  I've heard people say that God equips you for all that he has called you to do - and I do believe that.  Is handling difficulty a calling though?  I don't think so.  I do know that God is there and will carry you through a difficulty, but that doesn't mean that it isn't without pain, suffering and anguish.

When Joshua wanted me to come up with him to sleep, I could tell something was on his mind.  He told me his head hurt.  Then he just started to cry. 

"I don't want to have diabetes." 

"I want to go back to the way it was before."

"I don't want to have so many shots every day."

"I want to be able to eat whatI want and when I am hungry and not on a schedule."

Does imagining hearing a little 9yo boy say all of this tug at your heart?  It's a lot for a little boy to handle.  To add to all of this that he has been sick for 11 days, well, it's no wonder his heart was heavy.  I know it could be worse.  It still doesn't make this easy though.

I just held him and cried with him.  I don't want him to have diabetes either.  If I could take it instead of him, I would in a heartbeat.  I know it's hard.  It's alright to cry.  I told him all of that and then just prayed.  I asked God to heal his body.  I asked him to pour His peace on Joshua.  I asked Him to carry my sweet boy. 

Yet, as I did all of this and was praying myself for words to comfort, words to help.  I felt so inadequate.  I remember so well feeling all of these same emotions after Eliana was born.  I remember people telling me that I would find a new normal and that things would get better.  Even though true, it didn't always make me feel better then.

I had to find the truth for myself.  I had to learn that God is good and faithful even when times are hard.  I had to learn that I needed God so very much just to have the strength to make it through the day.  I had to learn how weak that I was so that God's strength would show.  I had so much to learn and God was so faithful to teach me.  So many of those things people told me ended up being true, but I had to learn it for myself.  I learned about priorities and what was really important.  I learned about suffering and lots of medical stuff that I never wanted to know.  I learned about God's faithfulness and love.  I had to live it to learn it though.

I so wish that Joshua didn't have to go through all of this.  Nobody wants their child to suffer, to have to deal with a medical issue that will always follow them.  He can't forget about it for even a day - or even a couple of hours.  There is always that next poke and shot waiting. 

I do know that God is faithful and will be there for Joshua.  I know that God will hold him and teach him and that He loves him so very much.  I know that Joshua will become a stronger young man for having to deal with this.  I still wish he didn't have to do it.  I wish he could have had more of his childhood to just be a child - carefree and without the burden of diabetes.  Again, I know it could be worse, but this is still a lot to handle.

I tried to share a little of this and told him that I wasn't sure if would help at all.  Parenting can be so hard sometimes (though I wouldn't trade it for any other job in the world!).  I just wanted to be able to kiss him and make things better, but this is too big for that.  It's going to take time ... and trusting ... and learning.

Thank you God for always being there for us.  Thank you that you are faithful, true and loving.  Please guide us as we learn to walk this path.  Please strengthen us to the task that is before us.  Please shape us to look more like you.

Blessings

Leslie

Still sick

Poor little Daniel has the worst of it now.  He has been sick for several days now and today was a rough one for him.  I'm hoping that tonight will be a turning point for him.  He felt well enough to play a couple of games of Candyland with me - and beat me both times.  He has been able to eat some, but not keeping much in.  We are all ready for this bug to be gone!

Thankfully everyone else is feeling well.  The other kids and I just did a lot of reading and some cleaning.  We are reading a really good book right now.  It's entitled The Mysterious Benedict Society.  It's a mystery involving children and a plot to change the world.  I love that it is engaging for my children from 7 to 16!  I'm really enjoying it too! 



Joshua walked in and said he feels funny - his head and his stomach.  Wants his blood sugar checked.  He is really good about asking for this when he isn't feeling well.  He, unfortunately, has had too much practice between the sickness and the many lows. 

I had told him that he would be fine as he just had a snack recently and a shot of insulin.  I don't mind checking though whenever he feels it is needed (or wanted).  This is a lot for him to learn.  Being attentive to his body and the changes it is going through.  He is doing such a good job of it all too.

His blood sugars are fine, but he wants me to go up with him.  More tomorrow.

Thank you for your prayers.

Love
Leslie

CT Scan

Sorry for the late update. 

I took Joshua in this morning for his CT (CAT) Scan.  They told us just to walk in.  We went and waited for about 30 minutes.  During this time, we realized that I had forgotten his "poker".  I packed it, but forgot to slip it in my tote.  Thankfully, we weren't far from home and we were in a medical facitilty.  I did bring snacks so he was able to keep his blood sugars up.  We read aloud in a book (Hatchet - thanks Laura!) and played some games.

When it was time to go in and he saw the machine, I could see that he was visibly scared.  The technician that worked with us was wonderful!!!  She explained everything and answered his questions (he always has questions).  He happened to have on an outfit with no metal so that he didn't have to change into a gown.  This was probably the only pair of shorts that would have worked like this too!  She did a trial run of him laying on the bed, being lifted and then into the machine so he could see what it would be like.

The test itself went pretty quickly.  Then I chatted with Joshua while she checked to make sure they had all the images that were needed.  I had watched with her as the scan was going on and thought it was neat to see the images of his bones and thought Joshua would like that too.

I asked if she would mind him seeing that picture when it was completed.  She did so much more than just show him that one neat picture.  She scrolled through all the pictures and pointed out his organs, bones, spinal cord and more.  When she got to his stomach she said it looked like he had eaten cereal for breakfast - and he had!  She also showed him his muscles and his skin and commented that he had NO fat.  This is true.  :-)

As we were leaving, she told me that she would be sending the results to our ped office right away.  She also said that if we hadn't heard anything by this afternoon, we could call and ask.  Again, very nice!

We then went home.  I forgot to mention we had one sick today - Daniel.  Sick again in the middle of the night.  Thankfully everyone else is feeling better.  I sure hope it ends soon!

Our ped called this afternoon to share the results.  His kidneys looked good - no obstructions or other problems.  She did say that his left kidney is "puffy" in the collection area and is something that she will want to keep an eye on.  She doesn't know what caused it, but it doesn't seem to be due to any problems in his body right now.  His other organs looked good too!  Also, one of the cultures came back - negative for E. coli.  Thank you!  She is still waiting on some other cultures.  I told her that I knew it wasn't salmonella - that one was very wicked and much, much worse than this has been.  It was horrible!

She mentioned that this might be rotavirus.  She asked if I'd extended nursed my children and I said yes.  She thought this probably protected them while they were young.  Eliana had the shot for this and that may be why she hasn't gotten sick.  We won't know for sure though as this one wasn't cultured - just the "big boys" as she said.  I think it must be something we picked up from the hospital.  Who knows.  It doesn't really matter.  I just hope it is done!

Joshua's numbers are doing good again today.  No lows!  The new med seems to be working well in helping to keep him balanced.  I'm thankful for that.  I also talked with his endo dr who called to check on him.  Isn't that wonderful to have doctors that care so much to keep such close tabs on their patient?!  I'm very thankful for these great doctors and their willingness to go above and beyond when it really is important.

I'm hoping that by tomorrow, I can post some pictures, maybe share some other things that have been going on.  I"m hoping that we are at the end of the sickness path and then can just walk the new path of dealing with diabetes.  I'm thankful for many things and appreciate your prayers.

Love
Leslie

Monday Update

Just wanted to update a little on our day.  It seems silly sometimes to just post and post about our lives, though I know some people are reading and do appreciate your prayers.  Your notes and comments have been sweet too.  :-)

I took Joshua to the renal ultrasound appt today a little after noon.  We took our bag with a game (thanks Rebecca as we have had a lot of fun with this!), puzzle book and more.  Joshua worked on lunch on the there.  I learned a lesson that I'm sure will be repeated.  We are carb counting now and administer his insulin (one of them) based on the number of carbs he has eaten.  Since he slept in late and hadn't had a shot yet, I wanted to be sure he got one at lunch.

I made a lunch, counted the carbs and figured he could take the food with him.  Well, about 5 min down the road, I realized he didn't have about half of his food.  So we turned around and went back.  I weighed the cost of being late (they wanted us there 15 min early) versus what not having the food would do to his body.  I choose the food.  He could not afford another low.  As it turned out, our timing worked out just fine too. 

The ultrasound was long.  I asked the sonographer if she would be interpreting the results and she said no, it would be a radiologist (dr) who would then talk with our ped.  I sat at the end of the bed while Joshua had the test done.  Up until that point, I realized that I had felt light about this appt.  I really viewed it as just something to cross off the list, not really searching for a problem if that makes sense.

Well, as we were sitting there, I saw her go back to an area that she had already studied and measured.  It was then that I felt fear seep into my mind and heart.  I knew that she was looking at something, though I didn't know what.  I knew not to ask as they can't tell you anyway.  My mind started racing with things that could be wrong.  I know that there is a link between diabetes and kidney problems, but surely not so soon.

I thought about how people sometimes comment that I am "strong".  I don't always feel so strong.  I think handling trials has made me realize how very weak that I am.  I probably thought I was strong before I had been tested.  Now, I know better.  I think that being strong is sometimes just doing what you have to do.  You do what you have to do for your children.  That is part of being a parent.  You don't always have a choice.  I also know that my strength comes from God.  I can't imagine doing any of this without Him.  He is faithful and always with us. 

So, I began to pray in that little dark room.  Praying for our brave little boy who has been through a lot in the last two weeks.  Praying for health.  Praying for his body to be fine.

When the testing ended, she had us wait as she wanted to check with the dr to make sure she had gotten all the pictures that were needed.  Then she asked us to wait for the dr. to come talk with us.  I began to feel nervous again - thinking that this must mean bad news.

The doctor came out to talk with us.  She had been unable to reach our ped and didn't want us to have to wait to hear the news.  (That was very considerate!)  She told us that his kidneys look healthy and that they did find one thing that wasn't normal.  The collection area of his left kidney is too large.  They aren't sure why.  It could be that this is normal for him or it could be a sign of an obstruction.  I left thinking that this was the end of it.

When we got home, we got in a poke and then a snack.  Then I headed up to take a nap.  I got in a short one before the phone rang.  It was our ped.  She talked more about the results of the test.  She doesn't want to let it go in case there is something wrong.  She wants another test (CT) done to see if there is an obstruction in his kidney.  This is unrelated to his sickness and his diabetes.  This is just another something going on in his body.

She told me that she was trying to find out if insurance would cover the test before getting it scheduled.  She wants it done tomorrow.  I'm guessing we'll get a phone call in the morning to set it up.

I also  got a call from the endo wanting to know how Joshua was doing.  We were both very pleased with his numbers today.  Most in the 100s and one in the 200s.  No lows!!!  Yippee!!!  This new med seems to be doing a better job.  She again said what a great job we are doing taking care of Joshua.  She is confident that we could move to an insulin pump soon if Joshua would like that.  We'll definitely consider this, but first I want to get rid of the sickness.

Christopher, Daniel and Joshua are all feeling better this evening.  They all slept a good bit today and were able to eat supper.  Roger just told me that he is feeling a little queasy.  Praying that he doesn't get sick too!!!  Praying that Eliana would be spared as well.

As always, thank you for praying.  I'm off to sleep now.

Love
Leslie

Monday morning

Last night was a long night - or maybe better said, a sleepless night.  Roger and I were up talking some (should have gone to sleep).  Christopher started feeling badly.  He rarely gets sick. 

By 2am, it was time for Joshua's finger poke.  His numbers were good.  181.  Thank you God!  We are really trying to avoid crashes/lows!  Off to sleep.

At 4:30, I was awakened because Joshua's tummy hurt.  I went to his room and sat by his bed.  A little while later, he began throwing up - and having diarrhea.  :-(  Poor little guy feels so crummy.  In a very disappointed voice he said, "Doesn't look like the new medicine is working".  I assured him that it could very well be working and helping, but not against whatever is making him so very sick. 

After trying to go back to sleep, I was awakened awhile later by a noise.  I rushed to the bathroom to find Daniel sick.  I helped him and then got him settled and then tried again to sleep.

It seemed that 8am came very early (I'm hoping for a nap later today!).  I got up to check Joshua's numbers.  Good  again.  130.  He is asleep on the floor of my bedroom.  (Not my top choice since the people sleeping in that room haven't gotten sick yet - but I hate to move him too.)  I can't imagine the range of emotions that he must be feeling.  I remember how scary it is to feel sick and so out of control of your body.  And then the pain and discomfort.  It's just hard.  

I called his dr and she said I could let him sleep.  I'll only give insulin as needed for what he eats.  That is good news.  She was pleased with his numbers too and was very encouraging about what a good job we are doing in caring for him.

I hear my name being yelled and go upstairs to find a mess.  :-(  Poor Daniel has gotten sick all over the floor of his room.  I start cleaning him up and the phone rings from the other dr's office.  I talk briefly and she says she'll call back and leave the info on our message machine.  Good plan.  I spend time cleaning up Daniel and the carpet.  Get him settled into the "sick room" (Christopher's room b/c it has a private bathroom). 

Time to start laundry - I'm going to try to do all the sheets today and towels and maybe air out the rooms.  I just don't know what else I should or could be doing to try to clean up around here.  I'm open to ideas if anyone has them. 

I've cancelled Eliana's therapy - who wants to come into a house with so much sickness.  Joshua has a renal ultrasound later this afternoon.  (Roger will be able to come home to be with the other children - again who would want to come hang out here?)

In the midst of all this mess, I still have much to be thankful for.  I'm thankful that Eliana has not had to deal with this.  Please pray that she would stay well.  Roger and I have also stayed well and I hope and pray that continues as well.

I'm thankful that we have great doctors, willing to go out of their way to help us.  I'm also thankful for their encouragment. 

I'm thankful for friends and family who are praying for us.  Again, the encouragment is wonderful.  Thank you!

I'm thankful for God.  I can't imagine walking this without Him.  He gives me a peace in the midst of all this, well, mess.  The calm in my heart could only be from Him.  It doesn't mean I'm not concerned, I am.  I trust that the One who loves my children more than I can even imagine is holding them (and me) in the palm of His hand!  He is good. 

I'll hear the results later this afternoon/evening from the renal u/s.  Other than that, I'm not expecting to much news to share.  Three children sick is quite enough for now, kwim?  :-) 

Thank you friends your prayers and encouragment!

Love
Leslie

Visit to ped, talks with endocrinologist

Well, today (Sunday) has been more of the same.  Isaiah threw up during the night.  :-(

Joshua's numbers were fine at breakfast (210), had insulin and breakfast.  Within 2 hours, he told me that he felt badly and wanted to be checked.  49.  He is doing a LOT of crashing which is very concerning to us and to his doctor.  Gave him juice and crackers and got him back to 108. 

He continued to feel badly and had loose stools.  Another 2 hours and he is low again.  Ate lunch and called the pediatrician.  I was thankful that Eliana's wonderful doctor (ped) was on call and I was able to get an appt with her at 1:40.  Even though we have other children that have been sick, Joshua has been sick on and off most of the last 10 days.  That is just too much. 

It was good to see her and she joked with me asking if I was going to become a nurse when I grew up.  She is a great doctor and tenaciously fought for Eliana in so many ways.  I knew she would do the same for Joshua.  We talked about his history and she was impressed with my notebook(s) detailing everything and the sheet of info I'd typed for her that I knew she would want regarding his sickness and when it occured.  She told me that she thought Eliana had prepared me well to handle this.  I agree.

We talked a good bit.  She was glad that knowing the other children had been sick that it seemed more like a virus than something terribly wrong with Joshua.  It may just be the combination of the diabetes and the virus is just too much for his little body right now.  Joshua was able to give "samples" to be tested.  He even commented that being a doctor was a great job because you got to examine "pee" - and get paid for it.  LOL  Love a little boy's sense of humor.  (I hope this doesn't gross anyone out!  Well, a lot of this is gross, so sorry!)

While we were waiting, she called Joshua's endocrinologist (who is also wonderful!).  They talked for awhile and then I also talked with her.  What I didn't realize is that while I wasn't standing there, that one dr had wanted Joshua admitted to the hospital.  The other told her I could handle it.  Then how about the ER?  The other thought he would be better at home.  That is a great vote of confidence, though a little unnerving too, kwim?

Here are the changes.

• Change in meds.  One has been eliminated and the other is to be based on carb counting.  A new med is being added (lantus).  The hope is that this will eliminate some of the spikes we are seeing in his blood sugar levels.

• Joshua will be getting an ultrasound tomorrow of his kidney to see if there is anything going on there of concern.

• Lab cultures will hopefully be back in a couple of days and we will have more information from that.  We will see the ped again on Thur

Joshua felt really crummy the first half of today.  He even asked me if he would get to a point where he didn't have stomach aches every day.  :-(  I assured him that he would.

Joshua's endo dr called this evening.  She has been so wonderful about emailing and calling us!  She is really concerned about Joshua and even told me that.  She is concerned about how many lows he is having.  (Several a day)  We talked about his new meds regimen and she wants his  numbers tonight in an email and wants me to page her in the morning to discuss his numbers so we can decide together his med dosage.  I'm so thankful for her availability, interest and desire to get this figured out.  She has been analyzing his numbers and believes that we may be able to help him by making the changes in his meds.   I hope and pray she is right!

I'm thankful for such wonderful doctors!!!  God has blessed us greatly in this area by hand-picking people who have gone over and above in order to help our children.  Thank you God!

More later (probably tomorrow) as I need to go test and get snacks ready.  Thank you for your continued prayers.

Blessings

Leslie

Sat morning update

Thank you for your prayers for our family.  We woke up this morning to everyone feeling well.  :-)  We decided to head out to a local 4th of July celebration. 

Soon though, Joshua began to feel poorly (diarrhea).  We then decided that I would stay home with him and the rest could go to the celebration.  It ended up being a good decision because by 9:30 Joshua was throwing up.  He didn't eat much for breakfast, but none of it stayed down.  Poor little fellow.  I started reading him a book, but after getting sick, he was just wiped out.  He is sleeping now.

I emailed some with Joshua's endocrinologist yesterday.  She is so wonderful!!!  We have adjusted his meds in hopes that he won't keep having lows.  He had another last night before bedtime.  He was then high in the middle of the night (333) and fairly high this morning (over 200).  I wish I knew what was going on.

If any of you reading this are dealing with Type 1, did your child go through anything like this?  The stomach issues?  I know some of it is viral as I've had 3 other children throw up in the last week and half.  His is spaced out though.  Is he just not healing or catching it again?  I think that the diarrhea (I apologize if this is TMI) is not just a viral thing.  I'm not sure what it is though. 

I know if this continues that I will be taking him to see the ped.  Just debating whether I need to do it over the week-end.  Prayers for wisdom would be appreciated.  It's not "urgent", but I don't want it to get to that point either, kwim?

We have managed a few fun things in the midst of this yuck.  I redeemed coupons with 2 of my children yesterday and will post more and add pics later.  I had hoped to do something fun with Joshua this morning, but he is just too worn out from all of this. 

I hope you are having a wonderful 4th of July.  I'm thankful for the many freedoms that we have in this country.  I'm thankful for the men and women who have sacrificed much so that I could enjoy freedom.  I'm thankful for Jesus for giving me freedom from sins.  Freedom is a wonderful thing and gives us much to be thankful for each day. 

Blessings

Leslie