Parenting. Its the hardest and also the most wonderful job I've ever had. If you have children, I'm sure you can relate. I'm so very thankful to have 6 amazing children. Each of them a gift with their own strengths, weaknesses and challenges. Roger and I have learned so much from them - and from trying to teach, train, discipline and disciple them over the years. And while we have been at this for some time, I find that we are always facing new challenges and trying to figure out how to deal with new or different problems/issues that arise.
Lately, we have really been struggling with some things at our house. I feel like I spend more time nagging/reminding than I want to. I want our kids to be motivated to do the right things. I've been praying and seeking God's help and guidance and I do believe that this book is part of the answer to my prayers.
The subtitle of this book is "A Christian parent's guide to raising kids who do what they need to do without being told right". This sounds great doesn't it? This book gives great insight in how to accomplish that.
I love that this book gives a lot of concrete examples of parents who are struggling with various behaviors and how applying the things taught in this book can help initiate positive change. I find that I learn a lot from hearing about what others are struggling with and how they handled a situation. Its also helpful to know that we aren't the only ones struggling. Can anyone relate?
Parenting experts Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller demonstrate how God's Word gives us the best way to parent, one that builds strong internal motivation in children. When parents
change the way they parent, kids change the way they lives. This practical book explores a
theology of internal motivation and then gives parents real-life solutions to equip their kids for
I appreciate that the book starts by helping us to understand the conscience and how it works. Its explores the various levels of conscience and how to get our children to move beyond just thinking about themselves to thinking about others. This is not something that happens naturally, but something that we can train our children to do. Knowing more about the conscience gives parents a whole new set of tools to use with their children.
I also appreciate that this book is for parents of children of all ages from preschooler to teen. There is no time limit on learning how to be a better parent and how to encourage your child to be all that she/he is designed to be!
One example of parenting that I know that I've fallen into is behavior modification. If you do this, then you will receive that. After reading the examples in the book, I very clearly recognized myself in this. (And I also hear my children doing it with their siblings too.) This is not a method that is good for long as it just doesn't keep working. Or it requires bigger and bigger rewards. All of us clearly want our kids to be internally motivated, but just how do we do that?
Parenting requires strategy. One of the strategies shared involved the power of your voice. This includes not only what we say but also the tone that we use.
What parents say leaves a marked impression on their children's hearts. Unfortunately, many parents spend too much time talking about what children are doing wrong and not what they need to do right instead. They say things like, "Would you cut it out!", "Stop it!" "When are you going to get it right?" "You're making me upset over here."
Rather parents would do much better thinking about what they want their children to say in their hearts and then using their own statements to their children to coach them to that end.
Did anyone else think "ouch"? They shared several examples of parents choosing positive statements which children could replay in their heads. I've started using one statement with my children and its to encourage them to "be a blessing". So often, I've encouraged them to "have fun" and realize that the goal needs to be bigger than that. I'm looking forward to seeing how this might change their behavior.
I am also thankful for the many Bible references that are shared that undergird their teaching. They look to God as the one that teaches us how to live our lives. This is not a book of formulas but is rather a method of parenting the hearts of our children.
I am very excited about this book and strongly encourage you to get a copy for yourself! You can find it here and if you order by Jan 31, you will receive other free resources! You can also order it from Amazon or other book sellers.
Sometimes reading books or articles about parenting can leave you feeling deflated and like you have somehow missed the boat. This book is not one of those. Instead I find myself encouraged and energized to tackle some of the problems that we have been dealing with head on.
I hope this post is an encouragement to someone.